5 minutes to midnight

have you ever felt so low that you don't even bother to find out why? well, im in pain, and its hard to trust someone who doesnt understands you on the inside, assuming everything is A-ok when its not. i don't want to be treated like a broken glass in a perfectly shaped boxed. i need the sugar and spice every once in a while, and i getting all that from other people instead of you. why? is it because im not important? or you think that i wont run away from you? well, you know what? im sorry but, im an independent woman. what i need is love and affection not a man acting all macho all the time.

hey baby,

would you care to be my gingerbread man this Christmas?

sweet and filled with sugary goodness

purity

Purity, the absence of impurity in a substance or abundance of virtue. i wanna clear my mind and start to see the world differently. i think i might have been thinking that the world is another fairytale waiting for an happy ending. but no, the world has been really cruel to me ever since i turned 18. Therefore, i shall change my ways and observe more instead of making the world observe me.

dots

i shall stop blogging for a while

he just had to

well you know what? fine, 'AVOID' being in my group if that makes you happy. we dont make a good team because im the one being all boastful kan? hurting you and everything? and i thought i was the one feeling the pain. and another thing, i was never good enough for you.

JUST GO AWAY!

and not let me hurt you

yes, blogging again baby !!

well, today was like the usuals. managed to shoot a few scenes for our culture and civilization project. and today honestly felt.. awkward. it was nice talking to rizal again after a few months of not talking. at least he remembers me, unlike some people i thought they would. *sigh* its like, i dont know who you are anymore. we used to dance and sing together. what happened to those olden days? well, guess what? youre off my BFF list. mmhmm.. oh, and long story short. we went to cheras just to get our hands on some indian costumes. haha. his parents were sort of staring at me, fell the preassure sara! feel it.

ps: sayang, im sorry for being relatively quiet & thanks for your sacrifices you've made today <3

What a day

had my effective public communication test today, and it went quite well. a few mistakes here and there. but, im satisfied. english class was cancelled and so, i managed to get my dad to pick me up early. god, never felt so full. celebrated yu kee and mr nats birthday in wong kok. too bad i missed chun pao's one though ): oh well. theres always next year (; i should be sleeping now since i have a class at 8am tomorrow. but, god knows how 'early' i'll wake up tomorrow. hehe.

im suppose to be in little india tomorrow to buy some stuffs for my video shoot, but a certain someone wont let me go. too far, dangerous are his reasons. the least you could do is offer to follow. but no, instead you tell me not to go cause you dont wanna go. sheesh, might as well not tell you right? when i want to contribute, youre not letting me. *sigh* hung up my phone and i wished you would call me back <3

its been a while

have you ever felt so unsure about love? cause im feeling what everyone else is feeling. its like, you want to know, whether if he really is the one, the prince you've been waiting for, the one whos going to take good care of you. i dont usually talk about relationships in my blog, but.. its time for change. i mean, i dont want to fool myself, 'again'. i had an opportunity with my bestest friend, but i totally blew it. i have my reasons why. GAH! im curious and i blame myself for being serious so soon. everything is set up straight from my heart, and tell me, what am i going to do when it all falls apart?

baby,

“Meeting you was FAITH, becoming your friend was a CHOICE, but falling in love with you, i had no CONTROL over”

by Sara

to the two faced jerk

call me anything you want, but i know myself better than anyone. you may hate me now, but you're gonna regret hating me one day. knowing you for over 4 years now, doesn't really matters to me anymore. i DON'T need anyone who acts like you in my life. so, please, STOP bugging me if you hate me so much. im not gonna bother you, youre not gonna bother me? got it? If we have class reunions, i'm not gonna be there when you're there. i promise i'll try to avoid you in any possible way if that makes you happy.

sincerely, your no longer your friend,

aliza sara.

Pfft!

im HERE without a reason.

GOODBYE

your lover

and i've returned

only god knows when was the last time i've updated my blog. well, im here now bloggy. i know you've been missing me. haha. well, so far, so many MANY things have changed. lost old friends, gain new ones. the HORROR. im not letting go of them just yet, but some of them.. i would rather not say anyting. how could you? just because i dont hang with you guys no more, doesnt mean i've changed okay? i've just been busy. im sorry if you dont get it. but, im appreciating those who do.

well, FYI, my first sem is finally over y'all (: enjoying my free time till end of july. still thinking of what to do during the holidays. since almost everyone in my high school years are just starting college/uni. i might not be able to hang with them. another reason why i cant hang with you guys okay?

and one last thing, before i end my short post,

im OFFICIALLY changing my look to be more SOPHISTICATED

can be related to this photo attached to this blog, but, without the icy blond please (:

till then love, good night <3

sorry

i so totally owe my daddy a BIG apology. i was so caught up with my selfish self and totally *poof* on reality. i realized that my dad didn't exactly on purpose wanted to ruin my dreams. no. he simply cares for me & I'm the one not appreciating what he has done for me. i know sorry is not enough, so I'm gonna prove to you that i can so totally ace college. i love you daddy. you've thought me from right to wrong and thanks to you, I'm the person i am today. i just want to thank you for taking care for me. and honestly, i just want you to know that i didn't mean what i said. i was just too emotional and depressed. its my fault. not yours. I'm gonna prove to you that i can actually do something, while i study. all i need is for you to just believe in me in what i do.


with love,
your baby girl (:

thanks for being supportive, dad

hah, just when i was looking forward to perform for the VIP's in may, Colours of Malaysia. one of the big BIG events in Malaysia, my dad just had to ruin the excitement. common, you already know how into dancing i am. and you just had to tackle me unexpectedly? it might be fun for you. but, me? it hurts more than 1000 stabs on my heart. i never felt this way before. let me tell you one thing, im growing up. and seriously, you didnt even had a chance to see me grow. too busy with work and the other things you had to do. i bet if i ask you whats my favorite colour, you wont even know. you dont even know how happy i was during rehearsals and practices for every event. dancing is actually something really REALLY important to me, cause at the end of the day, i know i've completed something in life. sure, architecture... its not even 100% my decision. i dont even believe in myself being in this course. i want to have a simple life without sleepless nights. i wanna be in that light for something people appreciate. you've only supported me in what you chose for me to do. im tired of this. i have my own life to control. you cant tell me what i can and cant do. i know you know whats best for me, but, i wanna take risks. its all in the proses in learning right? at this very moment, all i wanna do is CRY my HEART out. so, i guess. i btter get goin and just, well, move on. good bye abang azwar, abang eddie, kak ana and all the awesome choreographers. im obsessed with dancing FYI? its stupid! common sara, GET OVER IT! die obsession, DIE!! im tired and i gonna go cool my mind down. stupid dancing, stupid hobby, stupid life. all i wanted was for you to give me full support and tell me youre proud of me and also tell me how talented i am. but no... all you could say is im wasting my time. thanks a lot!!


a depressed sara

Passion

now, dancing has always been my passion. last two years, i used to perform a traditional dance for every event in petaling jaya. getting money wasnt really a problem. even thought it was like RM50 per show, at least it was still something. its a start, no? hehe. so, finally i had another feel of a traditional dance performance, once more. it was last saturday. practiced a day before the actual event. it was for my ex school's international understanding day. getting up on that stage, made me feel, happy.. its like, now a days, people tend to not find traditional dances as interesting as the mordern dances. its culture people! & whatever it is, its still our duty to not let our culture fade away. but i was happy that most of the audience were happy with our performance. i think, me and my team did quite a good job, showing people how 'interesting' traditional dances can be (':

here are some photos of last saturday (;

The before look

The after look

haha. yes yes. i know. whats up with the pose? me and purani here, as you all can see, we ARE posers. she's my junior by the way. nice and very ganas. haha. dont you dare mess with her. she BITES :p hehe. oh well.. back to the dancing thing, i really hope i can find people who are intrested in traditional dances in taylors. its a BIG opportunity to learn something new for a change, no? so, why not right? we, as the future generations of malaysia, must somehow help sustain the importance of traditional dances. woohhoooo

ttfn <3

by A.S

Yu-Na Kim

it was a saturday morning, during breakfast. my dad switched the channel to discovery channel & thats when i first saw her. the famous figure skater Kim Yu-Na. she's starting to be my role model. i admire her work & the fact that she's no quitter. eventhough she had intentions to quit figure skating, she didnt. i can bet she fell more than 1000 times, & yet, she's still standing, till today. i mean, come on, ice skating ait something that comes to you easy. so, she started ice skating when she was 7. despite coming from a not so wealthy family, her mom actually sacrificed & worked really hard for her to achieve her career. and to think that professional coaches and skates are EXTREMELY expensive. can you imagine how much her mom sacrificed for her? for a second there, i felt really really lucky, having parents who can actually afford to send me to college. moving on, i just really admire her hard work. shes now a heroin in korean history, making the country proud of her. there's this one time, she suffered a back injury 3days before the BIG competition which was going to be held in Russia. with the bad condition shes suffering, she went on to Russia for the country & won a gold medal. She went to Russia as an ice skater, & returned as a star.

when you watch her skate, she seems to be as if shes very comfortable. the way she expresses herself, one word, incredible. check out one of her video performances by clicking here.

Yawn

keeps going on & on & on...

with a cherry on top

if there one thing i love MORE than anything, is cupcakes.

they're soft, yummy & sweet (;

back to assignments

emotions

i tried and tried to forget you, & slowly youre fading away, into that black-hole. the past is the past, moving on to the future might be hard. knowing you for over a year, made me realize that i was wasting every second of my time. i was blind, not knowing people around me cared so much about me, even more than how you used to care. *at least i think you cared* they were always there, when i was blue, high, & etc. in my head, i was thinking that i didnt want to walk around solo, but i was wrong. i was never alone. every year, friends come & go. knowing who your real friends are and whos not, made me appreciate my real friends. a small number of them, but, they're all i need. whats the point having many people knowing you, and at the end of the day, you find them stabbing you behind your back. so, adios & sayonara to you & NEVER to my mates cause i know that they'll always be there for me <3

(;

L to the OVE

i'll forever be your shortayh (;

with love, aliza sara

tadpoles

look what i found :DD

H.

as far as im concern, you're just another picture to burn.

(;

College

gosh, when was the last time i updated my blog? sorry peeps, been very busy. so, im in Taylors College, its been two weeks now, and im currently enjoying myself. meeting new people, new types of people, and knowing being energetic is a good thing for once. haha. so far, im loving creative thinking classes, you dont really need to think about facts, but its more focused on based what you think of art and being creative (: others, 10 weeks of malaysian studies and islamic studies. way unlike school, but yeah. its ok. i wont die in class. hehe. here are some pictures to keep yourself updated about me

within the first week:

from left, atris and zoey

from left, carrine, wen yee, adele and mua (:

they're AWESOME!

group photo

second week:

assignment, skecth something that reflects your personality

the gang :)

playing 'the ugly truth'

at the lake side orientation last wednesday

more to come, i need to finish up my assignments, so i'll update more when i have time (;

Sunwayy Pyramid

was with aisha, rizal, azhary, & faiz. arcades, ice skating. hazim appeared out of no where. and yeah. the most spontaneous outing ever! literally, chasing each other. cool! hahaha (:

loveyouguysla <3

looking for a lil' fun

another day, another story. today, as in now, im currently at my mom's office. doing, well, basically NOTHING. college in another 2 days. freaking out & stressing myself out for no reason. *HUGE sigh* narain's in penang, faiz's in klang. they have no idea how jealous i am. like yeah. im having a hell of a time, here, being LIFELESS. wanted to work but both my parents thinks its dangerous. so no working. driving licence? they were like ''we'll consider when you reach the age of 'maturity.' '' well, okay, i'll go with that :/ i feel like a baby. being all spoon fed. example, college, my dad planned EVERYTHING. he was doing all the thinking FOR me. see, im so lucky to have someone doing all the things for me -____-" its not that i dont appreciate them doing all the things for me, but, at least make an effort to let me 'try' doing things on my own. how am i suppose to grow up without any experience? they never really let me follow my own way. so what if i screw up? at least im lerning from my mistakes. even if they do ask what i wanna do, i'll end up going their way of things. i keep telling myself 'they love me TOO much till they're not willing to let go.' so okay, now i have a reason to be a goody two shoes. i guess i have to accept how things are JUST to prove to them that im really growing up. so, all the best to me.


over & out. *beep*

im superwoman,

away & AWAY (;

woooshh

My New Year Resolution

haha hmm. lets see?

One. survive college,

Two. improve on my cooking skills,

Three.hang out with friends more,

Four. driving licence,

Five. first date with someone special,

Six. contact my Primary school friends again,

Seven. organize a reunion,

Eight. transform myself into a proper young lady,

Nine. continue dancing, including ballet,

Ten. getting a six pack :O

wish me luckk (;

what else do you want from me?

JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!

LAISSEZ-JUSTE MOI SEUL !

ちょうど私を放っておきなさい!

APPENA LASCILO SOLO!

다만 저를 내버려두십시오!

please, just leave )':

its 2010

my first post in 2010. hey man, i hope youre happy. i give up. i had enough of you and your immature behavior. you think feelings are just feelings? huh, they're important to me okay? i am too a person with a heart and soul. so what if im a b**** to you? i dont care anymore. theres absolutely no reason for you to love someone like me. never, will i ever talk to you, meanie. the only person who's EVER made me feel this way. ): i would cry, but i wont. go ahead and test how i would react? thats not gonna get you anywhere. its just another game to you. please dont bug me anymore, would appreciate that a lot.

IM SERIOUS!

twenty-ten

people dont say two thousand and nine anymore, its twenty ten baby. my new years eve was simple. instead of wasting my time at sunway, one utama, or the curve, i spent new years with the people i love. i dont need to go anywhere really. everythings already here, people who care for me, here. a room away. never really appreciated them that much, but, when the fireworks came out, just watching that with them was one of the moments i cherish the most. so people,

happy new year!

with love, alizasara (: